Wondering About Life

Have you ever wonder why you did not choose something? Just as simple as, why I did not take my breakfast this morning or maybe why I decided not to use conditioner this morning during my shower time.

Well, I think a lot about that issue. Sometimes I wonder why I did not become other people. Hold on. This is not merely comparing myself with others, but I think it is normal for us to wonder why we are us in present condition.

I was and still am wondering why I chose biology as my major in university. In that time my answer was really simple, because I like biology and it seems acceptable for everyone if I went there. Looking again to current condition and from what I do now, including what my interest is, I wonder why I did not open an option to take art major. Why? I think it is simply because of my bad behavior, doubting myself.

I often doubt myself, yes, my wife knows it a lot. I doubt whether I am good enough or not, whether I can be proud of myself or not. It affected me in that time, I guess (see, I am doubting myself). I thought I was not good enough because I cannot draw anything or creativity in mind is similar like a stuck pipe piled with soil. Yeah, just not good enough. So then, I tell myself am I good in art? Well, not really. I cannot say that. Small amount of produced photographs with simple idea does not seems a tremendous portfolio for me. So then, what I am actually good in?

This is my current and future quest. I am trying to resolve the puzzle of my life. Maybe you there also have similar case. You probably questioned why you took your master degree, why you pick a job, why you decided to get married, and other seems common things in our life.

Those questions are fascinating yet it causes headache sometimes. It pursue us for an answer abd usually the answer comes after we are trying.

I need to know and find where the biggest stream of my life should or must or better or... again too many options.

Related to question in this post, there was a quote that I would like to take from the dialogue in Night at The Museum 3, this is between Larry (Ben Stiller) and Theodore Roosevelt (Robin Williams),

Larry: I don't know Teddy, I even don't know what to do tomorrow.
Theodore: How Exciting??

I was amazed with the dialogue. It was simple, inspiring, and fascinating. To wonder about what we should do tomorrow even can be something "exciting". Perhaps it is. If we know future, then where is the fun part of living our life?

I think that is also legit. Two years ago, I never imagine I will get married in October 2014. Two years ago, I never imagine to purchase my own motorcycle. Two years ago, I never imagine myself swimming in Maluku.

Chasing our pavement and seeking for the answer of ourselves is indeed harder than looking for science question in our textbook. We cannot googled it.

So cheers to us the life seeker. The greatest mystery in our life. Chasing who are we, chasing what we suppose to do. May God shower us with fortune and luck. Amien.


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